ManWitch
by MariLyn's Mello
Summary: What is Vince hiding? I suck at summarys so please read it and tell me what you think...
1. Chapter 1

**Ok... so my othe stories were a total flop... so fourth time lucky?**

**I realised that I wasn't writing the rigth genre... so I tried another...**

**I do not own the Boosh, The wonderful Noel and Julien do...**

**Dedicated to my best friends Lauraloo, Scarlet Cullen and Graceyloo...**

The noise of Howard's fingers tapping on the typwriter filled the appartment. I put the key in the lock and opened the door, praying he was too engrossed in his writing to notice. I pulled off my red boots and put them my bag, and began my journey through Hell on earth. It was a ridiculious sight, me on the end of my toes, tip toeing through a mine field; one wrong move and its over. Howard typed furiously, a pot of herbal tea resting on the table. I was tempted to snatch the packet of jaffa cakes that where in the cupboard, but resisted tempation and brought my attention back to sneaking. My door was open wide, perfect; I could smell my victory. With each step I got closer, I got closer to keeping my little midnight secret away from the world. Howard stopped typing suddenly, I froze; not daring to breath. he took a long breath and pulled his fingers through his smokey brown hair. I despritely scanned the room for a place to hide from his view if he turned around. He sighed.

"Why do I even bother?" Because you have always wanted to be a writer, I thought. And thats when Howard Moon did the weirdest thing I'd ever seen him do, he put his head in his hands and began to cry. I couldn't react, the sight of Howard crying sent me into shock. I took one step towards him, should I go to my best friends aid, or just keep going. I didn't have to think about it twice, I walked up to Howard and hugged his neck.

"Ah ha!" I didn't fall for it, no! "Caught in the act!"

"You bastard!" I shouted, swiping my boot from the floor and pegging it at him; missing by inches. He laughed as I chased him around the table, other boot in my hand.

"I knew you were sneaking out you little man!" He said cheerfully.

"You took advantage of me, you were crying! I could never leave you!" His face turned from triumph to care. He walked over to me and hugged me, very unexpected; but nice. His hugs made me feel safe from the dark side of Camden, any person would want that. He pulled back his arms and poured more herbal tea into his glass and handed it to me "Thanks" I smiled, maybe it wasn't such a bad thing getting discovered.

"So?"

"So what?"

"Where were you, with your girlfriend?"

"No!" I lied, my face staying defensive.

"Oh yer! Sure!"

"Why are you certain its a girlfriend? I could be smoking crack for all you know"

"Well you admitted it was _something_" I cursed in my head, he could twist your words like a python so you admitted more than you bargained for.

"You still haven't answered my question, why do you think its a girl?"

"Because you've got love bite on your neck" Oh god no! I plonked my cup on the table ran to the mirror in horror, to see a love bite on my neck for all to see. I blushed, hoping I didn't go too red. Thats the problem with living with a jazz loving writer, from the brand of soup, to the make up on your face; he'll notice it all. I slumped back into the black and white coach, hoping to sink into the bottom of the earth. Howard grabbed my hand and pulled me back into reality.

"Why on earth were you hiding this?" I was silent, not because of embarrassment; just because I couldn't think of anything decent comebacks. I picked up the tea and let it slide down my throat, thankful to be warm again "So when can I meet her?" I spat the tea out onto the carpet, that was the question I was dreading.

"So, when?" He asked.

I saw my open door, I was so close; and thats when I got an idea.

"When" My legs got ready to run.

"Can" I ran the plan through my head.

"I" My hands gripped into fists.

"Meet" This is it, now of never.

"Her" Howard finished.

I bolted off the couch and ran to my door, shutting the door with a slam and checking the lock twice

"Hey! Come back here you reject!" As if I was going to do that. I heard him groan, he had been beaten for now. I heard his footsteps walking away, then turn around suddenly.

"I'll get this door down if its the last thing I-"

"What the Hell were you thinking Howard?" I screamed, he flinched as I put the ice on his head "I mean you can't just go running into peoples doors like that!"

"I needed to know!"

"Needed to know what?"

"Who this girl is!"

"She's someone"

"Who?"

"Someone!"

"GOD DAMMIT WHO!"

I prefered him unconsious.

"I can't tell you!"

"Who?"

I began to sceam, throwing my head in my hands. Howard put a hand on my shoulder.

"Tell me" I stared at him with my now wet eyes

" Ok... I'll tell you. But you have to promise not to tell anyone, not be angry and trust my every word" He nodded. I struggled to say the first sentence, knowing that there was no going back when I said it. "I cannot live a normal life" Howard began to talk, but I cut him off. "Most of the potions on Naboo's shelves... are mine"

"I don't understand" Howard said.

"Come here, I need to show you something" I said, walking towards the bedroom. I walked through my messy room, shoes and clothes covering the floor. I knelt down and stuck my arms under the bed, pulling out a large book with a leather front.

"Open it" I ordered him, it took him ten seconds to register what I'd just said and open the cover. His eyes went as wide as they could, the colour drained from his face. The firs colour you'd see when you opened it was red, blood splattered over a picture of a skeleton making a prayer; head of a man in one hand and a bloody sword in the other. Howard turned the pages mindlessly, each page holding lines upon lines of writing or pictures of skeletons or torture or blood. He threw the book to the floor, his face covered with horror and disgust.

"That is horrible, why Vince? Why?" He shouted, trying to slow his breathing. I picked up the book and flipped to the last page, I showed it to Howard; and he gasped. This was the only page that would be considered normal, a picture of Howard and I in a rain storm; the rain pelting down. Howard was pulling me into a hug in the picture, our faces both covered with shining grins of happiness.

"Do you know what I am?" I asked. He shook his head.

"I'm a witch" I whispered, tears dripping down my face.

**Scrap or continue? Its up to you... so press the review button... you know you want to...**


	2. Chapter 2

**I JUST DELETED THIS WHOLE CHAPTER SO I HAVE TO WRITE IT AGAIN!**

**Sometimes I don't really know why this stuff happens to me...**

**Remember... reviews are like Jaffa Cakes to me...**

Howard tried to say my name, but it came out a silent whisper.

"This isn't a lovebite, its a vampire bite" I said. I pulled my shirt off to reveal the bite, two teeth marks just visible. Howard stroked his fingers down it. I winced as he poked it. It still hurt, but not as much as it did before. I remember the night I got it, that horrible night...

_I drummed my fingers to the steady beat of the club music, my eyes on Shaun._

_"Someone has to take him out" Alex said, flicking his baclk fringe from his face. _

_"Not me!" Britania screamed over the music._

_"Vince?" Their eyes were on me._

_"No way! What about Britania, you're actually a girl!" I said, taking a long sip of my vodka. _

_"He wouldn't like me and besides, __everyone__ falls for you Vince" Britania said, and it was decided. I deserted Alex and Britania and pushed my way through the animal crowd towards Shaun, his eyes connecting with mine as soon as we saw each other._

_"Hi!" I shouted._

_"Hey" He said in an strong english acent._

_"Great place" I said. He nodded._

_"Wanna dance?" I asked. He pulled his fingers through his short wavy hair and replied._

_"Yer ok" After only ten minutes, my lips were connected with his; his hands slipping down to my waist. Britania and Alex gave me silly grins, shouting and giving me thumbs up, they were drunk. Shaun grabbed my arm and pulled me through the crowd and towards the exit. As soon as we were away from curious eyes in the alley, he pushed me against the wall and started to kiss me again. I moaned as he stuck his hands up my shirt and ran his fingers down my spine. I never liked doing this, but it was my job, to get rid of every last vampire one by one, and this was the way to do it. I nibbled at his lower lip, teasing him as he tried to pull of my jacket. It usually didn't take long for the vampires to go straight for my neck, the stake hidden in my right boot ready to be used, but Shaun was taking his time. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards a silver volvo on the end of the street that I guessed was his car, did he even know I was a guy? Butterflies coated my stomach as I leaped in the back of the car. I had had sex with randoms before, but something was different, something didn't feel right. He pulled off my shirt and threw it over the seat, planting kisses up my chest. I reached for the stake in my boot, panicking as I realised it was stuck, I slipped my boot off; but the stake wasn't there. _

_I was in the car with a vampire without a stake that was going to bite me._

_I was dead. _

_I didn't even get to say goodbye._

_To Alex._

_To Britania._

_To Naboo._

_To Bollo._

_But most importantly..._

_To Howard._

_I couldn't die! I was Vince Noir, and I never die._

_As Shaun tried to undo my skinnies, I thought of my options._

_I stay, I die._

_I fight, I die._

_Stalling him until I could get away was my only option. So I plucked up all my courage and ripped my skinnies off, Shaun immedialtely kissing every piece of bare skin. He didn't seem to mind I was a guy, he still had sex with me. Each time his teeth came near my neck, I mipped his skin or kissed his lips to distract him. I never knew how I managed to stall him, all I need was to get away, and I'd be free. He lay on the seat, grinning stupidly and twisting a lock of my raven hair between his fingers.I started retrieving my clothes from where they'd been thrown off. Shaun pegged me to the seat, his hands holding my arms down._

_"Um Shaun, can you let me go?" I asked. I was scared, Shaun could hold me down forever, he was so strong._

_"I don't think so Vince" _

_Vince? I didn't tell him my name._

_Oh my God..._

_I clawed his face, three red lines marking his face, he didn't even flinch. I struggled and screamed, anything to get out of his grip. He held his hand over my mouth, knowing that I could draw attention with my ear piercing screams. _

_"Oh dear. What should I do with this witch?" He whispered in my ear._

_"I could rape you, but I just did. I could bite you" He said. _

_My blood ran cold. It felt like my heart had stopped. I started crying, lound sobs escaping from my mouth. His teeth leaned down to my neck, he ran his tongue over my pale skin. He was teasing me. He didn't want me to know if he was going to bite me or not. He wanted to see me scared. But when he sunk his teeth into my neck, I knew his game was over. I would've screamed, he had let his hand fall from my mouth, but I couldn't. I could feel his blood mixing with mine. Tears fell from my eyes. He let me go after ten minutes, so I ran._

_I ran._

_I didn't stop._

_Not even when Alex and Britania screamed out to me._

_I just kept running._

_I ran to the flat._

_Curled up in my bed._

_Crying myself to sleep._

_Crying for everything that had happened._

_Crying for the loss of my life..._

I knew I was crying when I flashed into reality, the hot tear trails were fresh on my face.

"Vince?" I looked up, Howard stared at me. "I understand"

What?

He understands?

No.

He's lying.

"You're lying" I muttered.

"No! I'm not! I understand!" He shouted, and pulled me into a hug. I felt alien, like I didn't belong here. "Come on, you need a cup of tea" He said calmly, leading me towards the living room. I grabbed my shirt, hiding the bite mark once more. I wasn't ready to explain how I got it to Howard, not yet, I wasn't strong enough. He sat me on the couch, walking to the kitchen to make tea. Everything looked different even thought nothing had changed. I saw things that hadn't been there before.

The small buzzing from the TV.

A scratch on the floorboards.

A wine stain on the carpet.

Everything seemed so detailed. I was walking around when Howard came in, two cups of tea in his hands. He looked at me, and the blood drained from his face. The cups of tea fell from his hands and shattered on the floor. The sound of the crash sounded like it had been had doubled, it was so loud.

"Howard? What's wrong?" I asked. He spluttered, but then screamed his answer.

"VINCE! WHATS HAPPENED TO YOU'RE EYES?"

**I think this is my genre! Yer! **

**Sorry for spelling mistakes, if there is any...**

**Now review... you know you want to... the button is right there...**

**Thanks for the reviews!**


	3. Chapter 3

**The writers block has been eating me... but I have to start sometime!**

**Thanka for the reviews on Open up... they make me scream with happiness!**

**Reviews are like Howard and Vince having a satsuma fight... fruity!**

**(T for swearing)**

Howard ran over to me, his eyes despritely searching for something in mine.

"What's wrong?" I asked. He collapsed onto the couch, letting out a tired sigh, forgetting about the tea on the floor.

"Nothing, I... no" He mumbled.

"What?" I asked. He took a deep breath, as if this was the hardest thing he had said in his life.

"When I saw you, when I came out of the kitchen...you had no eyes. They were just two black holes" He said, the last sentence turning into a whisper. I put my hand on his, I could feel him shaking. I leaned against his shoulder, wrapping my arms around him, trying to stop my best friend from shaking.

I wanted to protect Howard.

I wanted him to be safe.

So why did I tell him?

I let my eyes close, not sleeping but relaxing, trying not to think about anything.

It felt like hours before I focused on the real world again. I was in Howard's arms, Howard cuddling me like a child and their bear. The next words he said made tears come to my eyes, making me feel more alien by the second.

"You're freezing" He whispered, pulling the blue and black patterned blanket from the floor onto us.

"I know" I choked out. We fell alseep, pretending this was another ordinary night.

Anoher ordinary night where we crashed on the couch after a crimp.

But it wasn't.

He was pretending to be fine, but his eyes couldn't lie, he didn't know what to think.

Was he upset?

Did he think I had changed?

Was I Vince Noir in his eyes anymore?

I felt myself falling asleep, the questions not seeming all that important, they were just words. But I couldn't get away from reality in my sleep, it was in my nightmares...

_It had been one week since I'd seen Alex and Britania, and once week since Shaun... bit me._

_That week had been spent in bed, crying._

_Wishing I could undo time._

_But just like everybody else, I couldn't._

_Even though I was a witch, when it came to time, I was just like every other human._

_Powerless._

_I walked towards the club, the beat of the music immediately becoming familiar. I had scavenged through clothes in my wardrobe to find something to cover the bite, I ended up with a red and black flannel shirt and skinnes. As soon as I went in the club, Britania was at my side._

_"Hello, since when has taking a __whole__ week off allowed?!" She screamed, her blue eyes filled with rage._

_"Look, I'm sorry I... got sick" I lied, hitting myself for not making up an excuse earlier. _

_"Well you can explain that to Cideous, can't you" She muttered, and began to walk through the crowd. I ran after her, grabbing her arm and pulling her next to me._

_"Please! I can't tell-"_

_"What happened, when we screamed out to you but you didn't stop, you looked like you were...crying" Britania asked. I pulled her out of the club, the music beat still pulsing in our hearts, searching for the alley that Shaun had pullled me into. _

_"I was pushed against this wall" I said, gesturing the brick wall. "Thrown in a silver volvo on the corner" Britania didn't understand, I was hoping she could put the pieces together and see what it makes._

_"I don't understand" She said. I lifted the collar of my shirt and revealed the bite. As soon as she saw it, she gasped and stumbled backwards._

_"Jutef lak se sality" She hissed in toungue. I knew what the words meant._

_The spirit of the damned is inside you._

_She fell against the wall, falling to the ground softly. "How could this happen Vince?" She whispered, tears filling her once bubbly eyes. She looked up at me. "It was Shaun, wasn't it?"_

_"Yes" I said. Her face twisted into a horrible frown._

_"I'll kill him" She muttered. "I'LL FUCKING KILL HIM!" She screamed, picking a beer bottle up from the ground and throwing it at the wall, the green glass shattering into a thousand pieces. She collapsed on the concrete, sobbing into her hands. I kneeled down and hugged her, I could already feel the tears through my shirt. I pulled her up, leading her back to the club._

_"You should go and find Alex, but please don't tell him about it" I said._

_"N-no I'm not leaving you!" She sobbed, wrapping her arms around me. I held her face in my hands, her eye makeup was dripping down her face._

_"If you want to help me, you will kill the vampires, kill every last one and let them rot in their bodies for all eternity to come" I said through gritted teeth. She let out an evil smile._

_"Ok, I'll see you soon!" She said, her bubbly self mixing with her murderous side. She pecked me on the cheek quickly and ran back into the club, stroking her hand over her chest, where she hid her stake. I sighed, the easiest part was over. I began walking when something caught my eye, something that made my blood run cold._

_A silver Volvo parked only metres away._

_I gasped, my legs frozen._

_He was here._

_Shaun._

_"Suprise" A voice whispered in my ear. _

My eyes clicked open. Howard was still beside me, snoring lightly.

Another bad dream, another flash of the past.

I sat up, careful not to wake Howard from his slumber.

I needed to look at myself.

I slipped off the couch and walked into Naboo's room, the strong odor of drugs piercing my nose. I walked over to the mirror and pulled off the velvet cloak, spinning it around to reveal another mirror.

And there I stood.

A corpse.

A carcass.

One of them.

My skin was white as snow, my blue eyes two black holes like Howard had saw, my hair limp and thin, my bones almost visible through my skin I was so thin.

I was forming.

"You had another dream, didn't you?" A voice said from behind me. Naboo stood next to me, his reflection making me gasp.

A corpse.

Rotting.

Decomposing.

He was just like me.

Naboo snorted as he saw my expression.

"Youth juice just hides the wrinkles" Naboo said. "The mirror can see through it all" We both stood there, looking at what we were supposed to be and what we'd cheated.

"Why did you come here?" Naboo asked me.

"Another dream" I said. Naboo nodded and faced the mirror again.

I couldn't deal with it.

The silence.

I needed to tell someone.

"I didn't tell Howard about Shaun!" I shouted, forgetting that it was past midnight. Naboo looked back at me, his eyes burning into mine.

"You have to tell him, and if you don't I will" He said sternly.

"He'll die Naboo, and you know that"

"Well... you better tell him soon, before it happens" He said, and dissapeared in a cloud of smoke; leaving me alone in the shaman's room. I stood there, my eyes looking beyond my reflection.

Was Vince Noir really in there?

Under the skin and bones, would happy, bubbly, sunshine kid Vince Noir still stay when I died and turned?

I remembered the dream I had had.

I hated it so much.

Because I could still remember the rest of the story...

_Shaun pushed me against the brick wall, his push feeling like it was from five men._

_"Well well well, if it isn't the manwitch" He laughed, his eyes a liquid black, smiling to show his sharp white teeth. I lay against the wall, my ribs screaming for mercy from the pain._

_"What do you want?" I shouted. He let out a laugh and started to pace, kicking a rock._

_"I want to make a deal. I want you to be my spy, report the infomation, give us a first hand of things" He said. I stood up, feeling so small compared to him._

_"I would never help you, you fucking bastard!"I screamed. He slapped me with the back of his hand, making me plummet into the wall again, my head smashing agaist the bricks. I could already feel blood oozing from my wound._

_"I didn't say you had a choice!" He screamed. "Because I know you now, and you will do as I say" He clicked his fingers, two men who I assumed were vampires carrying a squirming figure from the shadows._

_"Britania!" I screamed running to her aid, stopped when Shaun grabbed my wrists and twisted his arms around my chest. Britania was cursing, struggling to get out of their grips. Each vampire was like Shaun, well built, good looking, and hearts of satan._

_"You will do as I say or your friend over there... will die" he said. They released their grip on Britania, throwing her in the middle of their tight knit circle they had made. The man on the left made the first move, kicking her in the shin. The next slapping her brutally on the face. She screamed at every hit, her knees giving way and letting her sink onto the floor. I stood, hot tears streaming down my cheeks, not knowing what to do._

_They wouldn't stop._

_They'd keep beating her._

_That what vampires did._

_Got rid of the competition._

_"Let her go!" I screamed, struggling to get out of Shaun's grip. They laughed at my sobs, grabbing her arms and pushing her against the wall. Britania had given up on screaming, she just whimpered like a injured dog. Shaun laughed as they drew their tongues up the side of her face. _

_He was sick._

_They were sick._

_'"YOU'RE FUCKING SICK! LET HER GO!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, hoping someone would come to help us, but no-one could save us from the vampires. I tried to look away as they ripped her shirt off, but Shaun held my face in place. _

_"What is it manwitch? Don't you want to see your friend?" He giggled, pulling a pocket knife from his pocket and throwing it to one of the men. "Hey Ramond, finish her off, Vincey here needs to know the consequences" Shaun called. Both me and Britania's eyes went wide with fright. Britania started to beg, her bare chest covered in scratches and early bruises. She mouthed some words to me, but I never saw them._

_Blood covered everything._

_The scream echoed through the streets._

_It was the worst sound I'd ever heard._

_The sound of pain and death._

_Her lifeless body fell to the floor._

_The one called Raymond still held the knife tightly in his grasp, he looked horrified._

_"I killed her" He whispered. "I killed her" I let out an animal howl, crashing to the ground._

_"YOU FUCKING MONSTERS!" I screamed, only a whisper in the trees compared to the music. Raymond dropped to his knees, he looked like he was gasping for air. _

_But then I saw it._

_Deep in his chest._

_A silver stake._

_"Raymond!" The other screamed, kneeling down to his aquantance. Shaun just stood there, his face pulled into a frown. He let me go, letting me run to my friend._

_"Britania" I sobbed, cradling her lifeless body in my arms, blood still leaking from the slit in her neck. Each of us cried over our friends that had been lost tonight. The vampire crying over his mate that couldn't live with being responsible for a girls death, so ended his life with a stake through his heart. And me, sobbing over Britania, the girl's who's sweet voice I would never hear again. Shaun walked over to me, hands in pocket, looking on as if this was casual._

_But it wasn't._

_The anger burned inside me, like fire burning paper._

_I would've gone at him, with my bare hands._

_If I hadn't felt the stake in my boot I'd needed a week ago._

_So with my hand on my boot._

_I struck._

_I pulled the stake out, swinging it at Shaun, Shaun looking suprised for the first time and jumped back. I back him into the wall, my hands a blur as I swung thte stake, its tip looking for Shaun's black heart. He tried to grab my arms, our arms lashing out at each other. He finally grasped my wrist, twisting it in the opposite direction. I screamed, trying to block out the noise of cracking bones. He picked me up, raising me high above his head and threw me to the floor. I landed on my hands, I let out an animal scream, my hands felt like they were on fire. Shaun walked up to me, kicking the stake out of my good hand. He tsked, kneeling down to see my bloody face._

_"Didn't Cideous ever tell you not to fight a vampire" Shaun said, picking up my body, me too weak to struggle. "I would kill you, let my fellow vampires feed upon you. Theres just one problem, I love you" He said, brushing his lips agains mine. I knew I should'nt have, but I did._

_"Sering ta yerd da gerg" I spoke in tongue._

_Curse you satan and you're vampires._

_Shaun pulled his lips away._

_"Is it so wrong for me to love you?" He whispered. _

_"No matter what you do to me, I will never love you" I choked. Shaun pulled something ot of his pocket and threw it on my chest. I looked at it and let out a silent gasp._

_Howard._

_It was Howard._

_My Howard._

_Spots of blood smudged on the picture from Shauns victims._

_Shaun smiled as I knew what he meant._

_"If you can't love me" He said. "He will die in front of you're eyes like her" He pointed to Britania. "Now, can you love me" He smiled._

_There was only one answer._

_One that would save Howard._

_One that would ruin me until I was one of them._

_So I said it._

_"Yes" I said, tears falling down my face._

_Shaun smiled and kissed me again, ignoring my sobs that escaped my mouth._

**Dam! Not sad enough! Tell me if it was sad!**

**Sorry for mostly flashbacks, explaining it all.**

**Reviews will make me want to scream with joy!**

**Sorry if there are spelling mistakes!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Wa... my computer broke! Getting it fixed after a crying fit!**

**This is hopefully going to get good!**

**Dedicated to The Mighty Boosh along with my awesome friends that I mentioned!**

**I don't own the Boosh... Noel and Julien do...**

I needed to do it.

It had to be done.

I turned away quickly, not wanting to see what I was, running into my room. I pulled out my drawers, glitter and jewelery covering the carpet. I searched my room, throwing expensive clothes to the floor as if they were just scraps of fabric. My hands grasped a long metal object.

I was horrified and relieved at the same time.

I'd found my stake.

Buried underneath bundles of skinnies and shirts. It glistened in the moonlight, the letters V.N etched into the shining metal. I could almost smell the blood stains that had been washed away. I picked it up, the stake weighing as much as a feather. I walked to the bathroom, running what I had to do in my head over and over and over.

It has to be done.

I locked the door, checking the lock and falling against the wall. I held the stake in front of me as if it were a rose.

Then slowly pushed the tip to my heart with force, I could feel the sharp point against my skin.

"I can't!" I sobbed, throwing the stake beside me, letting it clatter.

It has to be done.

You know it, I thought.

"Shut up! Shut up!" I screamed at my mind.

You can't run away.

It's inside you.

And its never coming out.

I grasped my hair in my hands, banging my head against the tiles.

But I was right.

It had to be done.

I picked up the stake again, shaking violently.

"I'm so sorry Howard" I whispered between sobs.

And pulled my arms back, and swung the stake at my chest.

**Ok! This HAS to be sad!**

**Cliffhanger, cheeky I know!**

**Sorry for the short chapter.**

**Will make the next one long!**

**Now press the review button... because we all love getting reviews and I need it on this one!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the short chapters, I am using a library computer...**

**I know where its going now...**

**I don't own the Boosh, Noel and Julien do.**

**Dedicated to the readers (and Jarrod)**

"Poor chap, how old?"

"22, so young" Two men looked down on me, one prodding my arm with a scapal. I tried to move, but my muscles wouldn't work, my eyes were taped open. My felt my bare skin get goosebumps, a white sheet covering everything below my hips. The first man with grey hair flicked through a clipboard on the table, tsking as he read.

"Stake through the heart, suicide" He muttered, throwing the clipboard aside. The younger man with cropped brown hair picked up a scapal and stuck it in the skin. Blood leaked from the wound, the blade stinking into my flesh. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. All I could do was watch as he cut my stomach open.

It hurt so much.

He ripped open my ribcage carelessly, grabbing my heart and throwing it from his left to right hand.

"Healthy heart" He said. The other man picked up a blood stained chainsaw, digging it into my flesh. It didn't hurt now.

"VINCE! PLEASE! WAKE UP!"

Blood stained the once white walls of the morgue, the men looking satisfied.

"Well thats enough" He said, and threw a white sheet over my battered body.

"VINCE! DON'T BELIEVE IT! YOU'RE A VAMPIRE AND YOU JUST TRIED TO KILL YOURSELF BUT HOWARD FOUND YOU!"

I opened my eyes.

I was in a coffin.

Miles underground.

My breath shortened.

I couldn't breath.

My breath caught in my throat.

I needed air.

"Naboo! He's not breathing!"

I gasped for breath.

"VINCE! IT'S A DREAM! YOU CAN BREATHE! WAKE UP!"

Who were those voices?

"Vince!"

They were getting faint.

"We're losing him!"

They were a whisper now.

"VINCE!"

Everything went black.

**Sorry, this is real weird.**

**Please review cause I'm not sure about this one...**

**Thanks for reading people!**

**Reviews are like that ice cream sauce that is so good! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Going to England soon!**

**Trying to get this story on the tracks now!**

**Hope you like it!**

**I don't own the Mighty Boosh, Julien and Noel do. **

**Dedicated to The United Kingdom!**

My eyes clicked open.

Everything was black.

I could hear my own heart beating in my rib cage.

A white light flashed into my eyes, making me hiss.

"Vince!" A faraway voice called.

I reached for the light, grasping what I assumed was the light and threw it away. The face of Naboo appeared in front of mine.

Rain pattered lightly on the roof, lightning thundering through the room.

"Vince" He said again, his voice muffled. I sat up, my chest stinging from where I'd pushed the stake in.

Naboo's veins where almost fluroesent in the darkness, a array of red and blue lines twisting along his arms and legs. His heart was coloured a bloody pink, beating and pushing his blood through his body. The sound of his heart beating echoed in my ears, making me feel two heart beats in my body.

"I can smell you're blood" I whispered. Naboo staggered back, grasping what looked like a needle tightly between his fingers. I sat up, looking at the world curiously as a child would. I stared at Naboo, my eyes burning into his.

"V-Vince" He spluttered, taking small steps towards me. "I i-injected you with v-vampire sirum. You... would-ve d-died if I d-didn't" I got up, walking towards Naboo as he stumbled back into a cabinet.

"I'm a vampire?" I asked with fake shock in my voice. "No shit Einstein! I always was! The only thing you did was to get it out of me and bottle up Vince Noir!" I laughed. Naboo gasped silently, realising his mistake.

"What have I done?" He whispered. I brang my face close to Naboo's, trying to keep myself from laughing at his fear.

"For me, a favour" I said, my tongue running over my new fangs. Naboo shielded his face with his hands, making me laugh.

I was about to drink his blood.

Let the red liquid take me over.

When it hit me.

_I cried and cried, looking at my bloody hands. I tried to silence my sobs, but that only made them louder. Tears poured out of my eyes, dripping onto my bruises. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, wishing the pain would go away._

_Shaun liked angry sex._

_He'd slap me just to get me angry, then kiss me and tame the angry beast that burned inside me. He'd leave deep cuts from where he'd run his fingernails down my spine and red marks where he'd slap my bare skin. _

_His sex would always leave marks. _

_He would call me, tell me he needed me, that he couldn't live without me._

_And I'd come, like a dog and it's master._

_He'd push me to the floor, throw me on the bed, force me against the wall._

_I was all the same to him._

_I hated it, I hated it so much._

_I hated his fake kisses that he gave me._

_His words of love that he said to any women on the street._

_I hated it._

_He knew it hurt me, he knew that fucking me hurt me so much I'd scream in pain. _

_But he did it anyway._

_And I had to oblige._

_Or he'd hurt Howard._

_"Vince" I turned around, Naboo looking at me with concern. He was about to speak when he spotted my shredded peach skinnies, ripped to slithers at the crotch and covered in blood. "Who did this to you?" He growled in a voice so unfamiliar, it scared me. I burst into tears and fell to the floor, my fingers scratching at the flesh of my wrists. Naboo grasped my arm and led me to the kitchen, letting me collapse onto the couch. He ran to the kitchen quietly, bringing back two cups of tea. I took one, the tea spilling over the sides and burning my palm._

_"Who did this to you Vince?" He asked again._

_"I... I c-can't tell you" I choked out. Naboo put his hand on my shoulder again, pulling back my shirt to reveal the bite. He looked at me with cold eyes._

_I had to tell him._

_So I did._

_Everything there was._

_He was silent when I finished, blood completely drained from his face. He hugged me, I could hear him sobbing._

_"I'll help you, I promise" He said._

"Naboo. What am I doing" I asked, horrified at myself.

I was about to kill the man that gave me the will to say alive.

"Its the sirum" He said, still shaking.

"What if I hadn't regained control?" I whispered. "What if I'd killed you?" Naboo was silent, needle still in his hands. I sat on the table, trying to block out the thought of it. I looked up suddenly, my eyes darting everywhere.

Howard.

"Wheres Howard?" I asked despritely. Naboo struggled to say something, but when he did, I froze.

"I told him about Shaun" He said uncertain. "He had to know. He was the one that found you with the stake"

It felt like I'd been bitten all over again.

It hurt so much.

"Where is he" I whispered. Naboo pointed to the bathroom.

"Cleaing up the mess"

I ran to the bathroom, kicking down the door to reveal an empty room.

Blood coverd the tiles.

The only evidence of the stake was the hole in my skin from it.

Because it wasn't there.

Howard was gone.

And the window was wide open.

**Da da da!**

**This is another small chapter! Sorry people!**

**Hope this satifieys your needs until I get my computer fixed!**

**Reviews are like Vince Noir in a panda suit... completely brilliant in every way even if they thay 'it's rubbish!' **


	7. Chapter 7

**Ok, got to finish all my stories cause I am going to ENGLAND AND LEAVING AUSTRALIA!!!!**

**I don't own the Mighty Boosh, Awesome Julien and Beautiful Noel do.**

**Dedicated to my boyfriend who should live in a graveyard, Jarrod.**

I ran.

I ran and ran and ran.

And didn't stop.

The world passed a blur, the occansional person pointing at me with curiousity. It felt like my feet weren't touching the ground as I ran down the alleyways, my vampire features starting to creep up on me.

Great eyesight.

Super speed.

Strength like no human alive.

I was now one of them.

The way I ran I had ran so many times before, running to Shaun.

This was the only place I could think Howard would go.

Because my address was gone.

Naboo tried to call after me as I ran out of the flat, but I was long gone when he got the magic carpet. Shaun's flat was just above me, light shining in from the square window. I ran through the door, taking the stairs by twos and running to the top level.

I'm not too late.

I'm not too late

Am I?

I slowed at his door, my hand shaking as it reached for the knob.

Then there was a scream.

"LET ME GO YOU BASTARD!"

Smashing.

"Oh hello there, you must be Howard"

A sickening crunch of bones.

I couldn't take it.

I turned the knob, but it was locked.

I ran back and ran into the door at full speed, the door coming off its hinges and falling to the floor with a bang. Howard was face down on the floor, my stake tightly in his hand, a pool of blood forming underneath him. Shaun's Hands were plastered in blood, a look of pure hate in his face. I immedialtely ran over to Howard, forgetting about Shaun altogether.

Until Howard lifted his head from the floor, and flashed me a look of pure horror, only managing to scream his words of warning; did I remember Shaun.

"VINCE! LOOK OUT!"

A million pieces of glass surrounded me, making me feel like I was swimming in crystals. I hit something hard, my face feeling like it was on fire.

Was I dead?

My vision came back, I was looking up at the midnight sky.

And Shaun.

Swinging a stake over my chest.

He pushed me out the window.

And now he was going to kill me.

He tsked, kneeling down and pushing bloody hairs from my face. I could feel blood leaking from cuts everywhere.

"Oh my poor Vince, why did you have to tell?" He said, and let my stake drop.

I let out a ear piercing scream, the air in my lungs being replaced with blood.

Shaun flashed me a smile "Goodbye Vince" He said and walked away. I gasped, grasping at my chest, desprite to pull out the stake.

Music started to play in my head.

A piano.

The tune was so soft, I felt my eyelids start to droop. I let go of my chest, my arms and legs losing feeling and turning numb. Howard face was in front of mine, his clothes that I always mocked dyed red. He shook me, his words a jumble in the conforting piano notes. He scooped me up in his arms, running down the alleyways. He screamed at me, telling me to hold on and that Naboo would save me.

But that wouldn't help.

Because I am not human.

I am a vamire witch.

I will never go to the vampires, I would rather die than join them.

The witches would hang me, because I got bitten.

I failed.

I lose.

I'm dead.

Goobye Howard.

And I let the black take me over.

**I am so tempted to leave it there and see what people will say.**

**Probably kill me.**

**Please review, make my last days in Auz good ones!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sup!?**

**I REALLY needed to finish this so here it goes!**

**Please don't kill me!**

**I do not own the Mighty Boosh, Julian and Noel do.**

**Dedicated to all vampires, readers and Boosh fans (And Vinnie that talking piece of toast)**

The night was darker than Dennis had expected it to be. He walked through the streets with no fear, knowing every brick and dint in the dirty lane that he'd walked down so many times. A cat yowled from a rooftop near by, running back to its owner's apartment, scared stiff at what it had seen on the rooftops. Dennis looked at his watch.

11:59pm.

Perfect.

The shamans lodge was only one minute away so he'd be there at 12:00am precisely.

As usual.

A chill went up his spine as he stepped in a puddle, cold water flooding his sandals. He cursed and stopped, leaning against the wall so he could pull his shoe off. A flicker ran across the path in front of him, Dennis looked up curiously.

Probably just a cat, he thought.

Until he saw a figure in front of his eyes.

A figure he only knew too well.

Vince Noir.

His porcelain skin was covered in dark blotches of blood, his face drained of all emotion.

Eyes black with just… black.

Dennis immediately pulled his sword from his belt, and in a flash it was in of Vince's stomach, the blood tipped end sticking out the other side of Vince, ripping the material of Vince's shirt. Vince's face was shocked, mouth open, eyes wide. Dennis's hand shook violently as he tried to wipe the blood off his hands.

He'd done it.

He'd got revenge.

Vince was dead.

Dennis screamed in pain, he held his hand in the moonlight to see the skin of his hand eaten away as maggots would with road kill, pinky flesh showing and starting to bleed. He looked at Vince, fear flooding him inside out. Vince had a look of hatred on his face. He pulled the sword out from his stomach and pushed it into Dennis's chest, where it pierced his heart and ended what was Dennis. Dennis dropped to the floor of the street he used to know too well. Vince looked down at the man, an evil smile spreading over his face. He kneeled next to Dennis and ran his fingers over the blood that had started to gush out of the fatal wound. He licked his fingers, worshipping the individual taste that made him moan with pleasure. He had already felt Howard behind him, trying surprise the vampire. Vince darted around as fast as lightning and tackled his best friend, pulling him into a bloody kiss. Howard pushed a strand of Vince's blood soaked hair out from his perfect face.

"Do you ever miss being human?" Howard asked Vince as he nibbled at Howard's neck playfully. Vince looked at Howard with his once blue, lips smothered with the blood from Dennis and whoever Howard had drank from.

"Why? Do you?" Vince asked.

Howard nodded.

Vince sat up, blood tears glassing up his black eyes. He felt sobs form in his throat. Howard sat up and hugged his lover tightly, hating what they had become.

Vampires.

It was the only way.

Or they both would've died.

Naboo made the choice with tear stained eyes. Knowing that Howard couldn't live without Vince, and that Vince was better than dead if he didn't give him to the vampires.

And here they were.

But they knew they were different.

They knew hope wasn't up.

Because how could they be vampires.

When they still loved each other?

And they knew that they had to find a cure.

They had to save each other before they faded away to ash.

To keep their love going.

But that's another story.

**YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!**

**DONE DONE DONE DONE!**

**I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!**

**THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT!**

**HIP HIP HURRAY!**


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